One of the reasons I love working in the health and wellbeing space, is that it focuses on looking ahead – on helping people be the best they can be – physically and mentally – no matter what came before.
It is certainly true, that we must sometimes acknowledge the past, in order to move forward and to have true mental wellbeing, this is critical, especially if the past included trauma, ill health or pain. Living in their past, or letting it define you though, is both damaging and usually soul destroying. It is a waste of living.
I have talked before about not letting my health issues ‘define me’, but rather shape me into someone with more lived experience who can appreciate everything she has, rather than everything she doesn’t have. This honestly allows me to keep moving forward – and even on down days (which we all have), even on days where someone treats you poorly or hurts you to your core, or on days I feel frightened about the future – it helps me dig deep to find that strength and courage that got me through in the first place. It reminds me I’m more capable than I think and reminds me how bloody lucky I am.
Forgiveness is a tough one. Especially if you have experienced pain or trauma, caused by someone else. I’d love to say I believe we all need to forgive and forget in order to move forward and be happy – but I honestly think this is a trite statement, possibly written by someone living in a large plastic bubble!
There are plenty of things we can forgive and forget – but I also know there are some we absolutely cannot and owe no forgiveness for. Violent crime and all forms of abuse certainly come under this banner. In my opinion, these things can never be forgiven or forgotten and those that caused them must be removed from our lives forever. Moving forward from dreadful situations like these usually requires professional help and a great deal of healing. However, I do know from personal experience, that we must not let these situations define us either. If you were once a victim, you now need to be a warrior. Its not easy every day – but its what we must strive for.
Then there are the less severe situations we encounter with friends and family. When someone does something to ‘hurt’ us, which we feel is unforgivable at the time. Again – I would love to say that in these situations, all things can be forgiven and forgotten with time – but ditto – I don’t think this is true. I have learnt that we must decide whether the situation and the person involved is someone we love, or care about enough in our lives, to fight through the situation at hand and spend the time and energy required to resolve it. We have to ponder whether that person is a positive influence in our life – or a negative one that may continue to drain and attract ‘drama’ we just don’t need. I have learned that, sometimes, we don’t believe this to be true and we should then just move forward. That is our choice.
I’m not big on ‘drama’ and I tend to surround myself with people now, who are the same. People who have learnt to move forward and leave the drama behind. Life is too short for drama. We have no choice but to accept stress and find ways of managing it – but we have every choice to avoid drama.
When we do decide to ‘fight’ and invest in forgiveness and work through a relationship’s ups and downs – we’ve usually found a longterm connection, in my opinion. There is something so rewarding with this – but it’s reserved for those special few in your life who will move forward with you and provide you with strength, courage, love and support when you need it. You will do this for each other. They won’t always agree with you – but you know they always have your best interests at heart. We chose these connections wisely.
Focusing on our health, fitness and wellbeing is not only a tool for managing the stresses that life throws at us – its also a tool for weeding out drama in our life and focusing on the here and now to be the strongest, most balanced person we can be. When we are strong in body and mind; we feel better, we walk taller (for me this is truly vital!! 😂), we sleep better, we eat better, we feel happier and we cope with life better.
There is no perfect life and no perfect solution. It’s a journey and an adventure we keep moving forward with. We build a tribe around us that will be warriors with us, make the adventures wonderful and create stunning memories.
Keep moving forward… and don’t look back 😊